" c o n f u s i o n "

i'm so happy! : )

2005-04-09T12:10:00.000+08:00

HAHA I was the last person to see my grades. I didn't know it was out already, haha so stupid. Thank god Von told me in the middle of our conversation. I didn't even believe at first coz Von always trips on me. That's why I asked King, then I got a reply from when I woke up...and then.... WHOA! IT WAS OUT NA NGA TALAGA! Haha we were both scared to know our grades.

Well, I had good grades....and that's all that matters. To top it al off, I got 1.25 in Logic. WOOHOO! I love Mr. Diamante! Hahaha he didn't hesitate to give me a high grade even though I was always absent and if ever I was around, I just slept in his class. Haha pasaway. :)

Facts About Us...Girls

2005-04-08T23:18:00.000+08:00

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will bea round.

When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a fewseconds,
She is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday,
She wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once.

When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it.

When a GIRL says that she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more than that.

*Found this at Mari's Multiply Account. Cute noh? It's sooo true.

Life can sometimes be UNFAIR.

2005-04-08T23:04:00.000+08:00

It can really be. Ever since I entered College, my mom became more strict to me. And I’m like, “WHY NOW???” Back in High School, I can freakin’ do whatever I want...I can go wherever I want...and I can be with whomever I want to. Now, it is indeed a different story. I have to think of ways to go out. She needs to know all the details before she will finally allow me. I know it’s really weird that just when I finally could have all the freedom I deserve, it is when she took it all away. She’d always tell me, “You’ll understand me someday” or "You're not a guy. Don't compare yourself to your Kuya." Whatthefuck? She may be just caring and all, but she’s not getting any funnier. She’s not the cool mom who I used to have. Yes, she allows me to go to big events, but it isn’t like before...I’m hating it!!! Ma, hello??!!? I am a very responsible person. I know my limitations. And there is no way I’m getting pregnant. I don’t have a boyfriend for Christ’s sake. And even though I have one, I ain’t stupid to give my all to someone. I will never sacrifice my future for just a guy. (Yes, for “just” a guy.) Many girls of my age may enjoy getting laid, but I am so much different from them...and smarter. HAHA

My point here is... I do not deserve this kind of treatment! I thought her annoying strictness will somehow rest too since its summer. Get it? It’s S-U-M-M-E-R!!! Hay naku. Just like a while ago, she refused to allow me to go with Claiza somewhere. My oh my... Thank God she allowed me to go to Bora for a week. That somehow paid off....for all the gimiks I missed. HAHA

Bahala siya. Whether she likes it or not, I am going to Claiza’s place tomorrow to swim with my other friends. Period.

S U M M E R 2 0 0 5

2005-04-07T02:14:00.000+08:00

Yey! It's summer once again. Who doesn't love SUMMER? It just gives you a different vibe, and I 100% love it!

I'm too lazy to post. Hehe

Happy Birthday to Paul Gutierrez and Eea Abellana! :)

hay...

2004-11-03T12:49:00.000+08:00

hay naku, may pasok nanaman tomorrow. haha i just realized that....i missed studying. haha such a nerd.

anyway, kaka reformat lang ng phone ko... which means...
1. wala na lahat ng messages ko
2. wala na lahat ng contacts ko
GREAT! Now start texting me your cell numbers, haha. (pati sun #s ha! :)

good news. i've moved on! totoo. wla nanaman maniniwala... hahaha but i feel like it, so pagbigyan niyo na ko. as my friend told me, "madami ka lang kasing boylets." haha! its not that, REALLY! basta basta, im all good now. can you just be happy for me? thanks. :)

balik aral nanaman. balik ust nanaman. haha pero gimik parin pag weekends.. of course!

e

2004-10-18T16:08:00.000+08:00

Love is not enough to make someone love you.

I got hurt. Yet, the main reason behind it was none other than...yours truly. (me!) I blinded myself from reality. I made a fool out of myself. I made myself believe that he once loved me. I hate myself for giving false meaning for everything we had. Maybe he was just playing. On the other hand, I was already falling. Fuck it.

I am now stronger, and I won't let it happen again. For the meantime, I will set the word commitment aside and will just screw around. I won't ever attempt of hoping to be with someone again, for I'm sure they have a different gameplan. Fuck those dogs.

MABUHAY ANG MALALANDI! lol

free

2004-10-07T19:06:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO!

I'm finally free from all the pollution in Espana, backstabbers, bwisit guards who won't let me in when I'm wearing slippers, stress, brain-draining exams, jologs people....

It's finally my sembreak! Yeah Yeah Yeah. Party everyday!!!! :)

Guess where I went a while ago? I went to my future school. Haha! DLSU to be exact. Wahhh!!!! I can't wait to transfer there. I hope my parents will allow me. Damnit, I love everything about that school. I love the people, the environment, and the whole campus itself. If ever I'll transfer there, sa January pa pasok ko. Hala! :)

By the way, I NEED A FUCKIN PARTNER FOR MY FRIEND'S COTILLION. Practice starts on Sunday. Paul doesn't want to be my partner coz he never liked stuff like that. Clint needs to do something. While my closest guyfriends are tired of cotillion shits. ANYONE AVAILABLE????

blast!

2004-09-26T13:45:00.000+08:00

man, i had a blast last night! :)

first stop: galleria

i had my hair cut! uhuh...i have bangs again! hehe. i used to regret having one, but i dont know what came up, i just decided to have it back again. its cute...so no regrets naman.

second stop: galleria suites

it was reg's debut last night. naka check in kami... so i got there before 6pm, and then..... i did the hair and make up of mico. feel na feel ko, dude! haha. il try to post some pix soon. :)

third stop: absinth, greenbelt

as expected, alcohols everywhere! woohoo! tequila galore, baby... claiza was hella wasted. haha! i had 8 shots of tequila, 1 blowjob, alot of beer and vodka ice. AND STILL STANDING! haha oh well, malupit to uminom eh... challenge nyo ko! go ako! haha!

so i went back to galleria suites around 2am, i think. after we brought clai home... damn, sweet tlga ng friends ko, promise... i am soo soo lucky to have them. :) naks! haha inuman nanaman next sat.. cant wait! woohoo!

TWO WEEKS BEFORE SEMBREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love

2004-09-21T17:44:00.000+08:00

when you are together with that special someone, you pretend to ignore that person.

But when that special someone is not around, you look around to find him.

At that moment, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, "that special someone is just a friend",

but you later realize that you cannot avoid that person's special attraction.

At that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this, if someone appears in your mind,then u are in love with that person.

DAMN...SO TRUE... :)

animo!

2004-09-20T12:49:00.000+08:00

i watched the admu-dlsu game yesterday. and as u all know by now.... DLSU WON! Yipee!!! :)

watched it paul, clai, april, jayvie and lots more. we were seated in different places though. hehe! i was just with paul the whole game. but hey! we kept on glancing everytime we had the chance to. haha

grabe... saya! :)

anyway

2004-09-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

i saw rain here in a cafe near ust while killing some time. he's a member of the salinggawi dance troupe. he told me sayang daw coz i didnt continue in joining the troupe, dapat daw nag competition ako!

fuck sayang! champion pa naman. haha! :)

hsle!

2004-09-16T14:56:00.000+08:00

would u believe that someone tried to spread rumor a about me trying to ruin my friend's 2-week-relationship with his girl? laughtrip!

mind u, this guy is not even the guy that i was referring here as my crush. he was my partner during kaisa's cotillion. i dont like him at all. and all of a sudden, i received a call from him and told me about the rumor. nakaka-shock diba? i dont really care about it coz i know it isnt true, but nakakahiya pa rin.

mga tao tlga... mga assuming.

whoever came up with it.... dude, mabait ako. i am the kind of person who doesn't really mind on what others talk behind my back. but please, wag naman un below the belt. foul na un eh!

the way

2004-09-13T09:39:00.000+08:00

Now this is the right way to start my week.

I talked to Claiza last night about her frustration until 1am. Result? I woke up past 7am already, so I didn't make it to my first class which was sched at 9am. Tsk Tsk. That's why I ended up here at CL-1. It's a place, two rooms away from my classroom in where you could use the net. Cool. Dapat nag-aaral na ko by the way.... But I'm still so sleepy and tamad. My brain don't function that well yet, so why waste my time studying, right? Lol.

I really feel sorry for Claiza. Ngayon na nga lang nakahanap ng guy na matino, ayaw pa kumagat. Haha. She waited for the right guy to come. It even took here two years waiting. I can't figure out why that guy doesnt want to make the move yet. Hello? In some way naman cguro he likes her also. Halata naman e... Guys talaga. Papahabol pa. He's confusing my friend big time! And he's confusing me also. Coz what confuses my friend, confuses me too. dig that? Hahaha patay ako kay clai pag nabasa to! :)

Anyway, I slept with a smile last night. We were texting until he finally hit the sack. Hala! (May gf un!) Karma na katapat ko nito.... Pero hello? Crush lang naman eh. Pagbigyan niyo na ko! Minsan lang to.... ;)

at last

2004-09-12T13:28:00.000+08:00

hayy... at last, i have a new crush! :)

yikes. i missed this feeling. when just a thought of him makes you smile... when just a plain text from him matters... and when you make your pic together as your wallpaper of your cellphone. oh no! im like a 6th grader again. haha!

well at least i feel i already got over Him. Uhuh. I dont care about him anymore... I dont care if he's into a new girl already. Too bad the girl dont like him. Tsk Tsk. Ayan kasi... If only you had catched me when I fell for the second time... Dude, KARMA! wahahaha... joke.

im happy. i feel like a kid. period :)

bored

2004-09-07T17:59:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL SUCKS.

I am so hating all the stress I get in College.

..

2004-08-29T11:46:00.000+08:00

im happy, but a bit confused. hehe

anyway, i slept over at clai's place. woohoo! minsan na lang kaya yan mangyari :(

thank god for kaisa's cotillion. im still in touch with my friends. haha! after our practice, the girls went to carla's place to chill and had some drinks. the guys followed after like 3 hours? i knew it! hindi kami matitiis nun. susunod at susunod wherever we are. :)

met some new peeps...kerwin and mykee. aliw kya! i met this guy, c brian... tpos when paul came, i was shocked coz they knew each other. tpos c bri, sya pla un guy na we were cheering before sa white plains. aliwww... super small world. no wonder i was making kulit brian na ive met him na before, i just forgot where. haha. same with mykee... dami namin common friends. astig dude! haha

----- would u believe i now consider having a fling? but i dont have one yet! haha lahat malandi na, papahuli ba ko? kidding. :) but seriously...i dont really wna commit yet. well pag serious relationship, ayaw ko muna coz boys are problems. they make me cry. so as of now, im enjoying my single life and i want BOYS! lol

.

2004-08-27T12:34:00.000+08:00

having classes today was the last thing i wanted to happen. i didnt expect it! i was even out with jayvie and april last night. i got home before 11pm, now how's that? anyway.... i skipped my first class today. (sociology and anthropology class to be exact)

around 7am...

*mom rocked me*
mom: may pasok ka ba?
fitz: ewan ko. wait.... *texted king* "may pasok?*
king: meron daw eh... may s.a. pa nga daw eh...
fitz: *shocked but still slept for some more minutes*

good thing i passed my theo test a while ago. and thank god our prof in filipino was absent! or else bagsak nanaman ako sa quiz. leche! hanggang ngayon ba naman bagsakin pa rin ako sa filipino? high school pa to ah....

so we had early lunch. 11am. stopped by ministop with reg and hannah. they ate and i bought phil star and some sweets. haha! i cant believe i missed reading phil star, especially on fridays! may ys kasi... haha. so you could just imagine the 3 of us in a table, yun dalawa kumakain while ako nagbabasa ng malaking newspaper. haha!

zoology class in a while. man, i hopped il get a high grade on our second prelim exams. i was a bit confused with that test. damnit. goal ko pa naman ma-perfect un since i knda failed on the first one.

anyway, im so excited in planning my 18th bday. it wont be a debut, mind u. but i want it really astig. un lahat mag eenjoy tlga... ndi lng ako, haha.

later! :)

damnit

2004-08-24T13:41:00.000+08:00

this is the saddest thing that ever happened in my life.

my wallet is nowhere to be found. :(

i dont know why. i dont know how it happened.

this is so sad.... all my pix, receipts, membership cards and memorable stuff are there.

------

anyhow.... anyone here wanna earn money w/o investing any capital at all? well, then, msg me!

i got the best offer in town! if you could give me a recruit in legacy, il give u 50% of what il credit from that person. easy as that. tag me or text me if interested. :)

at last

2004-08-16T14:29:00.000+08:00

at last, our preliminary week is over.

but damn, i am not satisfied with the way i acted. i didnt review that much. what the hell? as ive said to reg, i was like a soldier who went to a war with not enough weapons. damnit. i really feel bad about it. :c

siguro mataas ako pag nag-aral.

SO FRUSTRATING.... *hayyy*

2004-08-11T20:46:00.000+08:00

Guys can be really sweet, but can also be a total asshole the next day.

AGREE?

finally

2004-08-06T19:06:00.000+08:00

at last, its friday again. :) im starting to love this day already. hehe

we didn't really do anything today in school. my class was from 1 to 4pm only. coolness! :) anyway, all we did was compute for our grades in our quizzes and exercises. i got a perfect score in all quizzes in zoology, while i got 126 out of 145 in english. not that bad, huh? so far, i havnt got any failing grade. everything seems to be so high. haha! just make my zoo lab an excemption. i dont have any plan of knowing my over-all grade there! we're seriously doomed in that subject. i swear!

good thing we're now so much inspired to attend our zoo lab. why? coz we have crush on this mestizo guy dun sa next classroom. haha! love at first sight, dude! wahahahaha!!!!!!! mapapasamin din un! :)

arumi's debut tomorrow.

god's kitchen tomorrow also.

prelims next week. HALA! hahaha

i need to have some fun first before il study. now, that's the real me.

life sucks

2004-08-01T19:25:00.000+08:00

i cannot believe this.

i feel so deprived.

i turned down 3 gimiks for 3 consecutive nights.

why? coz my mom didnt allow me to go out.

i didnt really complain that much when she didnt allow me last friday and saturday night. but i cant believe she didnt allow me to go to our acquaintance party tonight with my new friends. she even didnt allow me to sleepover in my blockmate's place. as if something will happen to me....

uhhh!!!! i hate life.

does she expect me to just study my ass off? NO WAY!

she said i had enough back in high school. yeah right...

you could just imagine how drama i was a while ago. i was crying like hell.

:(

by shaun

2004-07-26T13:30:00.000+08:00

You Were Never Mine... And Never Will Be
By: S.M.

I was walking in a gloom
Seemingly alone on the beach
My eyes let the tears bloom
As you were painfully out of reach

You seemed to be with me all the while
But never in truth, never to be real
All the words and voices appear to have become mute
And the unspoken feelings - much too cruel

Flooding memories rush back in time
In every moment awake and every dream in sleep
Yet, I have no physical recollection to hold onto
And that you were never mine - makes me weep

Your absence now makes me go mad
And I am really confused about what we actually had
We trusted it was more than a friendship we shared
And, missing you this way is making me sad

I really don’t know what I feel inside
And this hurt makes my heart go weak
My emotions somewhere I have displaced
There are so many things and answers I seek

Was I a mere vacation for you
While you entertained your heart and mine?
Once again, I am stuck wondering 'why?'
Walking alone in the dark, wanting to cry

I long for a little word from you
Waiting by the phone that never rings with your call
I wanted you to be next to me, holding my hand...
(I should have caught myself when I knew I would fall)

Hopes of tomorrow seem to be fading
And my today is packed with grief
I am merely living with your memories
Even though the time we shared was so brief

I should have listened to all the signs...
After this I don't think I'll ever be fine
Especially knowing the fact that
You were never mine... And never will be

:,(
i totally can relate....

saturday

2004-07-25T14:57:00.000+08:00

I went to our cotillion practice last night. After that, we went to GH. We were supposed to go to "Laugh Line" in Timog, but since not everyone had enough dough, we just settled in GH. At first, we had our nonstop kwentuhan of fun highschool memories. Then we met up with Andrew Barry in Theater Mall. Then we went to E-Lanes to play billiards. Haha, we, the girls, played too. Super fun! We were so noisy. We very much appreciated anyone who puts the ball on the hole. Haha! (even a scratch was cheered) To top it all, we had beers too. RED HORSE BEER, mind you! We never drinked beer. So you could just imagine how kulit we were already after a bottle or two. :)

At around 12am, we went to Ministop and chilled there. I missed doing it.

Went home at 2am.

a break

2004-07-23T20:22:00.000+08:00

finally.

hell week is over.

a break ...this is what i badly needed.

i only slept for 2 hours last night, so i turned down 2 gimiks tonight. what irritates me somehow is that everything i did last night became useless. deadline of theoretical analysis was moved. sociology and anthropology long test #2 was cancelled. theology quiz was cancelled too. the only quiz that pushed through was the filipino one. and since most of my classmates had low grades, they had to ask for a re-test, which means sayang mga pinag-aralan ko. damn it.

on the other hand, im glad that il still have 2 more days to edit my theoretical analysis. (if u only knew what i went through last night...im just lazy to make kwento)

im planning to put up a business, but i wont tell here my plan yet. baka maublot, haha. just watch out! :)

badtrip

2004-07-22T18:19:00.000+08:00

I HATE THIS DAY.

Nothing great happened today.

1. Our prof in neuro gave me a minus one point on our quiz. y? coz i passed my paper. i didnt know i have to wait for everyone to finish. she also got mad in our whole class, as if we did something really bad. ang ingay daw namin! quiz nanaman on tuesday. punishment quiz ampotah. fuck that fat bitch!

2. I'm fucking failing ZOOLAB. Pamatay na quiz nanaman kanina. TANGINA.

3. He's starting to be annoying again. *clapclap*

4. I can't afford to sleep tonight. i have 3 quizzes tomorrow, 1 homework and deadline na tomorrow nung 5-page-theoretical analysis namin.

I CANT WAIT FOR THIS WEEK TO END.

smartass

2004-07-21T13:32:00.000+08:00

I FEEL SO DAMN SMART. *smiles*

Unexpectedly, I got 65 out of 60 in our 2nd Long test in Zoology. Uhhh---confused? Let's put it this way...We have 3 Long tests before Prelims. Each long test consists of 60 points. But Papa Zoo, our prof, did a 65-point-test. So if you get 60+, the extra points will be transferred to your next test or in the prelims, that is if you get a perfect score again on the next test.

So I have 5 extra points. (and I'm planning to get a perfect score on our next test.)

FIRST LONG TEST: 59/60
SECOND LONG TEST: 60/60

How I love Zoology. :)

When Papa Zoo told our class that he owes me 5 points, everyone started clapping. After our class, some even congratulated me and shaked my hand. This is so funny. This is sooo not me.

I know. I know. I'm such a nerd.

this past few days....

2004-07-20T18:24:00.000+08:00

MY LIFE.

1. BEFORE: You could only see me in our library during... a) exam day for PE and b) pag-naiinitan.

NOW: I go to our Central Library during my free time. Now how nerd I am?

2. BEFORE: I am one lady who can't resist not to go out during weekends, or even during weekdays. Walang pinipiling araw. One party freak.

NOW: I'd rather do my school works than go out and waste some mullah. I go out if I have the chance though.

3. BEFORE: Pag dating sa bahay.... KAIN! TV! INTERNET! PHONE! Sabay TULOG!

NOW: Pag dating sa bahay.... KAIN! ARAL! ARAL! ARAL! Sabay sobrang konting TULOG!

4. BEFORE: My day isn't complete without some batoks from my guyfriends, or even just plain landian/harutan with them.

NOW: My guy blockmates respect me BIG TIME!

5. BEFORE: I play volleyball at least 3 times a week.

NOW: No exercise in any forms. Does walking in UST count? LOL.

6. BEFORE: I am in Greenhills every single day.

NOW: I look forward going to Greenhills.

7. BEFORE: Happy being a single.

NOW: Still a bit happy, but quite damn confused with what I feel. =/

....and the list goes on.

this isn't me.

iono?

2004-07-20T12:13:00.000+08:00

GUESS WHAT???

I got a perfect score in our 2nd Long Test in Math. yipee! *jumps around*

....On the other hand, I still havn't done my theoretical analysis in SA. Tomorrow na un... :(

maybe hiphop isnt really my thing

2004-07-19T13:17:00.000+08:00

new layout. :)

anyway....so what did i do this weekend? ummm....

saturday
- woke up at 7am
- went to heritage hotel to pick up my blockmate
- waited for an hour....then for another hour again....
   until i decided to leave. (damnit!)
- went straight to gh. met up with king. went to reg's place.
- had lunch with my blockmates.
- played like kids. :)
- went to theater mall. grabbed mango ice in ice monster.
- met up with my real barkada.
- thought we had cotillion practice, only to find out that it was
   cancelled on our way to pick up claiza at nbc tent
- went to greenbelt. ate dinner.
- went to starbucks in meralco ave. and met up with rally, paul and tonio.
   (i was with clai and tony btw)
- went to paul's place coz he needed to take a bath. he's vain, ok. :)
- went around eastwood.
- grabbed something to eat in jollibee. ice craze...yum!
- went to acro to drop tony.
- went to claiza's place.
- chilled for a while. watched tv. they had some drinks.
- tin came with LA, RJ and lester
- left clai's place.
- went to culture club with rally, paul and antonio. YES! we were in "culture club" damnit! the last time we went there was like four years ago....trance pa nun! such a waste of money. met some of paul's friends. did i like them? uhhh...no comment. SBC lng yta nakasundo ko tlga. let's just say that.... people there are not even like 1% of my crowd. sama ba? eh un totoo eh. :) sorry.
- good thing we had to go. went home around 3am.
- kwentuhan with my chiccas, clai and tin, until 4am? i missed them.

that's it for now....haha il write something nice maybe next time? nasa library lang ako. tamad mag-aral....hehe.

enough is enough.

2004-07-15T18:35:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes we have to take a look at others before dealing with ourselves. If not, hard as it may seem, some may give up on you."

RESPECT plays a big part in one person's life.

I'm sorry. I had enough.